5 Ways to Love Yourself

12 Mar

I’m so happy you have made the first step, and are here ready to love yourself.

What a journey it has been and I am not going to lie and say I have always loved myself because that would not be true. There was a point in my life where I thought I could never love myself but that was not the case. If you have been feeling this way about yourself you are not alone. Over the years I have learnt a handful of things that have helped me along my journey, and I want to share them with in this blog.

So if you are ready to heal the relationship you have with yourself and build a stronger relationship with yourself and with others. If you are finally ready to put yourself first and be your own greatest supporter in this life. I’m not going to tell you it will be easy, but from my own experience it will be worth it.

Let’s get into it!

We are not taught to love ourselves!

Let’s start with talking about Self-love and what it is about. Self-love is about our relationship to and with ourselves, which I find really odd that we are never taught this in our lives but that’s another topic in itself.

It’s about spending time with ourselves, and learning about ourselves, and nurturing ourselves. And it’s about being kind, compassionate, generous and accepting with every single aspect of ourselves, even the aspects in ourselves we wish were different.

Self-love isn’t just about having a face masks and bubble baths, that’s actually ‘self-care’, and not what we are talking about we are talking about Self-love which is your natural state. It’s the you who is actually you are at your core, when you peel back the layers of programming, and limiting beliefs that tell you to self-reject and self-abandon. Ultimately, it sets the foundation for all other relationships you have in your life and can set you free.

I’m excited to share these 5 self-love hacks with you below.

01

Prioritising stillness and loving yourself starts with listening to yourself and to your inner world. But you have to make space for it. To really be with yourself, and connect back to your intuition, without distractions fighting for your attention.

This means making a conscious effort to turn down the noise….

Adding rituals to your daily routine that allow you to be still and silent. I cannot begin to tell you how much prioritising stillness and silence - in a world that rewards us for being perpetually busy - has changed the relationship I have with myself and how much clarity and purpose I now have access to.

What if the attention you’re craving from external things - people, food, status, money, relationships etc - is actually you craving your own love?

How to prioritise stillness:

Spend less time scrolling social media and unfollow accounts that don’t light you up and make you feel good.
Reduce the time you spend watching Netflix or online shopping
Instead of putting a podcast on when you drive, be in silence (white noise) and notice how much clearer you feel when you get to your destination
Become aware of numbing vices you use such as shopping, alcohol, Netflix, instagram, sex, food and overworking. There is a reason you are using these to numb emotions you are not wanting to face.
Meditate
Take long solo walks in nature (no music or podcast) just you.

02

Own your shadows, this is the part of you that you reject and run from. The part you don’t want anyone else to see because you think they’ll reject you because of it. It might be tied to something about your physical appearance, or your voice, or your anger, something that happened in your childhood or the fact that you can’t seem to hold down a relationship.

Your shadow is a messenger, and an invitation into your greatest healing. We all have parts of ourselves that we want to change, or wish we were different. Many people spend their whole lives trying to change themselves. But the shadow work isn’t about changing anything. It’s about accepting and integrating all parts of you (including the shadow part) into wholeness, realising that you are perfect whole and complete just as you are. The one thing that gets to change is your perspective.

How to own your shadows:

In a journal, write down 5 things about you that you often reject. The things about you, you don’t want anyone else to know or see.
Write down why you choose to reject these parts of yourself
Question whether that is actually true, or is that a message or belief you have picked up from your parents, social media or society in general? for example: “I hate that I am single”, “I feel like nobody wants me and there must be something wrong with me” or “I hate my body”, “I am too big to wear this” (this one was one of mine some years ago). Now questions is this, is this actually true? Would you say this to your best friend who you love and adore….no you wouldn’t so why say it about yourself. Is there something you can find that you love about being single? Are you actually just living up to societal constructs or social pressures of having a hubby, children and a white picket fence by a certain age? Question where this came from.
Finally, let it go. Place one hand on your heart and one hand on your belly, and let yourself release this expectation and resentment you have over yourself and this shadow aspect. Choose a new reality for yourself where you accept and love all parts of you. What would that look like and how would you feel, embody these feelings.

03

Forgive yourself for whatever pain you have caused yourself, what ever bad patterns you have gotten yourself into. You are probably pretty hard on yourself (like I use to be and sometimes still can be) so forgiveness and compassion is probably something you’ll benefit from.

Offering up forgiveness and compassion to yourself could sounds something like this:

“I know you were doing the best you could with what you had and knew at the time. We’re going to be okay and we’re in this together”.

Now repeat that as many times as you need to for it to really sink in and come back to this when you feel you are being hard on yourself.

How to forgive yourself:

What do I need to let myself off the hook for?
What choices have I made in the past that I’m still beating myself up over?
What patterns have I got into that are no longer serving my highest good?
Who in my life is also hard on themselves? Where did I learn it?
Who benefits from me feeling like this? If you don’t have supportive people around you when you change sometime the people around you won’t like the change.

Then write a forgiveness letter to yourself, detailing all of the things you are choosing to let go of. This is a must do for everyone!!!

04

Remembering your worth. We are born worthy, it’s not something you have to earn. But we have conditioned ourselves to believe we are not. But we also live in a world that benefits economically when you DON’T feel worthy, which is why it’s such a problem in humanity.

What is self-worth?

Self-worth is the value you put upon ourselves, and it is also our way to communicate with the Universe what we believe we deserve to receive (manifesting). Remember the universe can hear every thought you put out so if you are thinking negatively about yourself then your reality will reflect this. Self-worth is how we value ourselves in the long run, but not to get it confused with self-esteem. That is how we feel about ourselves in any given moment, which can flow.

How to remember your worth:

Get clear on what you value
Have an abundance mindset
Make self-honouring choices
Set boundaries and say no to things that aren’t in alignment with your values and your desires for your life
Tell people when they’ve upset you
Rest when you feel like resting
Treat yourself with kindness
Don’t punish yourself when something doesn’t go the way you thought it might
Pamper yourself (massage are a great way to pamper yourself, or it might be have a facial or get your nails done etc)

05

Commit to a daily practice of self-love. That means making it part of your daily life. Something that happens on autopilot.

When you believe you’re a queen, you’re going to start making choices that reflect that, and others will treat you the same way. You show people how to treat you by the way you treat yourself, so be the example you wish to see. That’s also why it’s really important that self-love is something that you prioritise, and doesn’t become something you just ‘fit in later’. Commit to a daily practice, even if it’s only 15 minutes each day. Celebrate your small wins.

How to commit to a daily practice:

Practice mirror talk - one of my favourite practices and has helped me in so many different ways. I am not going to lie this was hard when I first started this especially if you don’t yet believe what you are saying but trust me it works, it is something I still do everyday!
Meditate for 10 minutes a day - meditation doesn’t need to be that complicated a lot of people think if you think when you mediate then your not doing it right but there is no right or wrong way to meditate. Just google or youtube ones you can follow along to.
Nourish your body with nutritionist foods and taking supplements
Journalling (another one of my favourite things that I do daily, that has helped me in so many ways). Get familiar with your inner world, and take time to reflect on how you’re feeling each day by putting pen to paper, this doesn’t need to be complicated either just start with what you did or how you felt today, what you are grateful for, what your intension for the day is etc, you can do this morning or night.

Reminder you are worthy of your own love, and of this work. Let me know how I can support your self-love journey.

This works, like really works!

I am so excited for your self-love journey to unfold!!!!

If anything you read resonates with you, you had a lightbulb moment or want to know more. Book yourself in for a Free Discovery Call to find out more and invest in yourself.

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Disclaimer:

This post is meant for educational purposes only and isn’t a substitute for diagnosis, assessment or treatments. If you need professional help, please seek it out.