Our words not only describe, but also create your reality. Our words are powerful and your subconscious mind is listening to everything you say and creating the reality you repeat. What you have been saying to yourself or to others is now your living reality (you manifested into reality).

In the process of growth and behaviour change, it’s important to start noticing the words and phrases you use in your everyday life towards yourself and towards others. These words and phrases are like a window into your subconscious mind. They reveal limiting beliefs you have about yourself. By consciously identifying limiting language and replacing it with more empowering alternatives, you’re creating a new course of possibilities for yourself. What you focus on grows remember so if you are focusing on negative language towards yourself then that is what will grow and possible take over your life - negative thoughts. This could look like I will never be able to do XYZ, I am not smart enough etc. If that is what you focus on that will grow.

These new phrases below will help you feel more alignment with where you are going, rather than where you’ve been.

Here are some phrases to stop saying, to change your life

01

“I AM [NEGATIVE PHRASE]…”

If you don’t like something about yourself. It’s a learned belief, feeling or behaviour that you took on at some point in your past, even if it was so long ago that you have no conscious memory of it. Because you took it on so long ago, you don’t remember a version of yourself without this tendency. But you learned it, so the good news is you can unlearn it!

Replace this with I am (followed by something positive)”, or “I have tended to…” or “I learned to…”.

02

“I’M NOT ____ ENOUGH...”

This phrase is your red glad for comparison or for trying to meet someone else’s standard of beauty, success, wealth or whatever metric you’re measuring yourself by. Not ____ enough compared to who? Not ____ enough for who’s liking? When you repeat this phrase, you’re reinforcing an unhelpful belief. But you actually, you are enough right now.

Replace with “I am ____ enough…” or “I’m increasing my ability to…”

03

“I’M TOO...”

This phrase usually indicates that you’re denying a part of yourself. Maybe as a child you were loud and energetic and the adults around you were tired and told you to quiet down or sit still. You may have internalised that you were “too much” and learned to dull your spark so as not to be annoying to others. As an adult, you can either continue to judge these rejected parts of yourself, or you can learn to accept every part of you exactly as you are.

Replace with “I embrace my…” or “I am proud of my …uniqueness”.

04

“I WILL NEVER…”

This phrase limits what you can experience, create and achieve in this life (manifest). Please stop saying this phrase! When you are truly in alignment with your passions and dreams, you open yourself up to miracles and experiences you never could have predicted. Open yourself up to the dream life you know you deserve.

Replace with “I am open to…” or “I have … right now”

05

“I SHOULD…”

There’s no better way to convince yourself out of doing something than to tell yourself you “should” do it. This phrase has a pesky way of taking whatever you think or say after it and shoving it to the bottom of the to-do list.

Replace with “I want to…” or “I am starting to…” or “I am …”

06

“I CAN’T [FOLLOWED BY SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO]…”

Who says you can’t? Chances are, when you were younger you were told what you were and weren’t capable of. What happens is, when you hold a belief, you don’t want to be wrong, so you unconsciously behave in ways that confirm your belief and this keeps the cycle going. But you can break the cycle at any time!

Replace with “I can…” or “I will…”

07

“I HAVE TO/NEED TO…”

People make choices based on their beliefs about which of their perceived options will either save them the most suffering or offer them the most joy. So, find peace in the decisions you make. Being grateful you get to do these things in life for, i.e housework mean you have a home, work tasks mean you have a job, taking care of people/loved ones mean’s you have loved ones. Practice gratitude for those things you have to do.

Replace with “I choose to…” or “I get to…”

08

“I WISH...”

Don’t get me wrong its great to dream and envision your life ahead! But the phrase “I wish” has the implication that you’re longing for something you can’t attain. Actually, you can have/do/be/create that thing, it just requires patience, determination and courage, which you are absolutely capable of practicing.

Replace with “I’m looking forward to...”

09

“I’LL TRY TO…”

Either you do or do not, there is no try.” Using the word “try,” you’re either making excuses for yourself or giving up too easy. Some things are going to be hard in life otherwise everyone would be doing them. If you don’t actually practice the new behaviour or actually achieve the goal, Saying “I’ll tried or I tried” means you technically never actually committed to the goal or task. You only committed to trying.

Replace with “I’m committed to [enter behaviour or goal here]…”

10

“YES, BUT…”

You’re finding an excuse not to implement the things you need to. This is a way to stay small and not have to make any uncomfortable changes. I’ll give you an example. I may say to a client “I recommend you start meditating to reduce your stress.” Client says “Yeah, but I don’t have any time.” The truth is, you do have time, you’re just not willing to prioritise it, we all have the same amount of time every day but it is what we value the most we prioritise.

Replace with “Yes, let’s find a way around these challenges…” or I will make an effort to priorities …”.

11

“I DON’T KNOW…”

Women are socialised to not trust themselves. They say something amazing about themself then retract this all by saying but “ don’t know”. You do know because you just told me.

Of course, there are times when you actually say “I don’t know”, like when someones ask’s you where the car keys are and you actually don’t know. What I’m talking about here is becoming more aware of when you’re using this phrase as an unconscious phrase which then reverses everything you just said.

Replace with the positive sentence you just said.

Now you are aware, it would be great if you could observe your thoughts and statements about yourself over the next few days. Notice how often these phrases show up. See what it feels like in your body to swap them out. Keep in mind this is not a one-time thing, this is an ongoing practice of bringing awareness to your word choice. It helps to have supportive people around you, who can helpfully call you out when you use disempowering language. Consider engaging in this exercise with a friend, partner or coach who can help hold a mirror to you.

Which of these phrases do you find yourself saying more often?

If anything you read resonates with you, you had a lightbulb moment or want to know more. Book yourself in for a Free Discovery Call to find out more and invest in yourself.

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Disclaimer:

This post is meant for educational purposes only and isn’t a substitute for diagnosis, assessment or treatments. If you need professional help, please seek it out.